Speaking Archives - The Vocalpreneur

Be Anything But Silent

by Amy | Aug 31, 2022 | brand strategy, Speaking, vocal brand

Just a little over two years ago, I began working with an incredible coach, Danelle Delgado, who said the words, “Be anything but silent.” over and over again throughout her group coaching. Even though I had run my own voice studio, been a businessperson for a number of years and studied marketing for breakfast, those four words hit me like a ton of bricks when she would say them. Even though I knew what I had to offer, and I was accustomed to creating beautiful graphics and posts and even occasionally, although inconsistently, going live, I realized in that moment that I was prone to being silent about my business and what I truly had to offer the people who needed me.

Over the course of my entire life from as far back as I can remember there has been this very strange dichotomy between being overtly bold and vivacious and shrinking back, withdrawing and being silent. I partially attribute this quirkiness to my late Grandma Madelyne who could equally embody being the life of the party telling jokes and laughing loudly or the biggest curmudgeonly, hermit you’ve ever want to meet — depending on the day or sometimes even the time of day. I also partially blame the fact that I went to a very strict private school that didn’t allow us to talk EVER, was made fun of for being fat by the skinniest stick of a girl in class, lost my sweet Aunt Georga to cancer and developed a condition where I pulled my eyelashes out as a stress response, all within a short timespan of a few months during 4th grade. I’ve since blocked out much of this memory, but what I do remember is that I went from being a normal, sweet, often chatty and extremely confident little girl without any fear to a very sheepish, embarrassed and moody little mess all within just a few short months, and it was very difficult to come out of that and feel brave enough to be who I was before that time for quite some time thereafter — or, if ever.

Regardless of my story, we all have reasons why we have been programmed to pull back and be silent. Perhaps your liveliness was not celebrated or tolerated, but instead, you were always told to be quiet, be less or that you were just too much. Maybe you were always shy as a kid, and breaking out of your natural, reserved state is a challenge for you. Or maybe, you have gone through some kind of trauma that took its toll on you and caused you to question your voice and wonder if what you have to say is really worth hearing, so it’s easier for you to just not say anything at all and hope that you will still be successful without having to talk or share your personality with the world.

Whatever the case may be, I want to remind you of a few key points that have helped me come out of my shell:

You do have a voice — both figuratively as well as physically — and using it often is THE VERY BEST KNOWN CURE for the silence you’ve subjected your self to.
If you have a brand/business, the world needs to hear about what you offer from you on a consistent basis.
Using your voice and discovering your vocal identity go hand in hand.
You aren’t the only one who has the issue of not feeling confident speaking, but you must heal and overcome it.

So, let’s start with the first key point:

1.You do have a voice and using it often is the best known cure for being silent.

Your voice is literally who you are. The fact that you have been silenced, regardless of how, is sad, but there’s no better time than now to start dipping your toe in the water and breaking your silence by just starting imperfectly and using your voice to talk about what you know, what you’re excited about, what struggles you’ve overcome and how you can help the people who are listening.

It’s true, and I’m here to tell you if I, a sheepish, hermit who struggles with speaking confidently and feeling like I have anything to contribute can get over my lack of confidence and be in front of a camera, on stage or speak on a podcast, you can too. It just takes the willingness to learn how to do it well and the courage to start messy.

2. If you have a brand/business, the world needs to hear about what you offer from you on a consistent basis.

This one may seem obvious to some, but it’s tough isn’t it? Maybe some days you’re totally feeling the boldness to go live or record and post that reel, but on other days, an effort like this may feel more intimidating, scary or like the effort isn’t paying off. I honestly see this issue often with entrepreneurs. On one hand, they really want to come out of their shell and be more vocal and visible, but on the other, they tend to want to retreat and let a few days pass before they get the urge to do it again.

I want to speak very strongly and firmly with you on this one, Friend. You have to be consistent. Period. No matter what. Your would-be customers/clients don’t really care that you just didn’t have it in you today. What they want to see and feel is not only value and predictability, but they want to be able to trust that you do what you say you’re going to do — that you are your word.

Over the course of the last couple of years, this message has really been driven home for me and taken seriously. Even though I have a longggg way to go in terms of consistency and really producing the caliber of content I would ideally love to be producing daily or weekly, I made a commitment in 2020 that there would not be a day that goes by where I wasn’t present in some way, shape or form on the internet. Sometimes, I get comments from people like, “Wow, you’re so consistent with your posting.” And my response is always the same, “I have to be. This is my job.”

Friend, it’s no different for you. If you are in sales, you have a business, you run a studio or you own a brand, then you have to be consistent (and clear about what you’re selling) because it’s your job!

3. Using your voice and discovering your vocal identity (your vocal brand) go hand in hand.

This is my favorite key point to discuss, but it held me back for so many years. How do you discover your vocal identity and find your brand? Do you do it by brainstorming who you are and what you want to be known for? No. Do you discover it by creating graphics with fun fonts? No. Do you discover it by meeting with a brand specialist who can help you pull it all together? Nope, again. You discover your vocal identity by using your voice. That’s right. The motion must be set. The structure must be in place. The action has to happen before the clarity comes. It sounds so counterintuitive, doesn’t it? But it’s true. We don’t set things into motion by thinking about them. I didn’t get my master’s degree in vocal performance by researching degrees. That was just a small step. The bigger, more significant steps were actually applying for the school, doing the audition, meeting with an advisor to determine my schedule, working my normal life around the class schedule, practice time, homework time, attending the classes and passing the tests. In other words, once I put one step into motion, the other steps became clear. And 5+ semesters, a lot of hard work and a few gray hairs later — Voila! I had a master’s degree!

This is the same for you. You may not know your true voice just yet. You may just be starting to put yourself out there and really speaking about what it is you know and how you can help people. But the more you do it, pretty or not, you are widdling down to the core of what you are about and what you want to be known for. But the action has to precede the clarity on how it’s all going to come together. It just doesn’t work any other way.

4. You aren’t the only one who has the issue of not feeling confident speaking, but you must heal and overcome it.

Sometimes, I think we subconsciously believe that our disposition is somehow different than the next person’s, and our situation is special and unique. Sure, you’re special! But you’re special in a good way, because your voice is yours and only yours. No one can duplicate it. No one is exactly like you! But let me reassure you about something and let the cat out of the bag in case you are confused or wondering: Nobody feels completely at ease with who they are, how they speak and what they offer. Nobody. Yes, some people might be more polished at speaking and hide their insecurities better, but I can assure you that no one is exempt from the insecurities you are facing when it comes to your voice and what you have to offer anyone who might hear you speak. We all, including myself, have a great deal of healing and we all, including myself, suffer from anxiety when it comes to going live, speaking and being more visible. Why is that the case? Because it’s our human nature to want to be liked, to want to be approved of and not feel discomfort. It’s our human nature to not want to be judged or in the spotlight and vulnerable. Most of us want to be hidden and safe — away from harsh judgment and naysayers who might pick us apart and criticize who we are and what we are doing. There are very few people in this world who straight up don’t care what others think, and those that are out there probably aren’t running their own business or speaking to people for a living.

But, here’s the deal: you have it in your heart to help people and you can’t be silent and help those who need you. You just can’t. Another quote from my coach is, “Who loses if you don’t win?” And I want to ask you that right now: Who loses if you don’t win? Who loses if you decide to stay silent? Who loses if you are too embarrassed to go live today and talk about what you offer? Who loses if they don’t hear from you, but they hear from someone else who’s just a little louder and get screwed over?

I’m here to say that a LOT of people lose if you don’t get brave and start the journey of discovering your vocal identity right now. And there’s no better place to be than right here with me, Friend. Whether you are a 1 on a scale of 1 to 10 and have never put yourself out there, but you know you have something to say and need to or you are a 9 and you have spoken quite a bit but just don’t like the way you sound and feel like something is missing or keeping you from connecting to your audience, The Vocalpreneur can help you!

This September, in just a couple of short weeks, we’ll be releasing our monthly membership community where you can learn and grow with likeminded Vocalpreneurs who recognize their need for showing up consistently and using their voices to offer value to their clients and generate neverending leads to their business! Will you be joining us? Let me know in the comments and I’ll get you some information!

Remember the phrase, “The squeaky wheel gets the oil?” Well, I’m here to tell you that the louder business owner gets the customer.

Decide. Commit. Take action. The rest will come once you do those three things in order.

IS YOUR VOICE LEAVING THE WRONG IMPRESSION?

by Amy | Jul 15, 2022 | Importance of Vocal Coaching, Speaking

Is your voice giving people the wrong impression about who you are and how you can help them? I want to show you 3 ways your voice may be turning people off from your content and what you can do about it going forward.

Not only do I hear this when I’m perusing social media and watching live videos, YouTube tutorials and reels, but also when I personally encounter professionals who know their content so well — they’ve prepared the speech, the visual aids, the presentation all the way down to hand gestures and what they’ll wear — but what they’ve seemingly forgotten is their most important asset: their voice and how it makes an impression and cuts through to the heart of what they’re saying.

It’s an epidemic, Y’all. Far too many times, people pay attention to the content of the message, the symmetry in their eyebrows, the angle of the camera, the filter, the timing of the clip with the music, the backdrop, the fonts, the colors and all the other things that make up a presentation, but they neglect the one thing that is going to draw us near and hook us in: they’ve forgotten to work on their voice.

Here at The Vocalpreneur, we believe that what you say is important, but how you say it is possibly even more vital to your message. Here are 3 examples of ways your voice may be turning people off with tips on what to do about it.

Ready?

Here goes:

Example #1

Your content is dynamic, it’s innovative and the words speak about energy and excitement, but your voice didn’t get the memo. Your voice is dull, monotone, emotionless and flat. Because of this, I’m getting mixed signals about what you are saying because how you are saying it doesn’t match up! What causes this? Who knows?! Maybe it’s nerves. Maybe it’s your camera/mic voice that you always seem to default to. Maybe you don’t even realize that your normal every day energy doesn’t quite translate to the camera and we’re not seeing your true personality shine through. Whatever the case is, we need to change this EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY!

Here’s how:

The next time you prepare to speak about something on camera or audio, I want you to do a trial recording of yourself the way you normally would speak and emote. Don’t do anything different. Just carry on business as usual. You could even do it inside a private group that only consists of you and a couple friends or close business partners. (It would be a great idea to open a critique group of people who trust each other!) Now, after you have finished that recording, go back and do the video/audio again, but this time, overexaggerate EVERYTHING!! Don’t worry about how it sounds or feeling stupid (it will feel strange at first), but I want you to embrace the awkwardness of over-enunciating your words, over-emoting your feelings and over-gesturing to the point where it just feels weird and unnatural. After you’ve done that, now I want you to go back and listen to a minute or two of the first video and a minute or two of the second. Which one do you like more? Which one made you laugh? Which one made you feel just a tad embarrassed? That’s the one you need to go with. The presentation you feel the most vulnerable in is the presentation that others need to see. If you’re not feeling discomfort, it’s probably not going to be worth viewing for others.

Stay with me…

The Heart of the Matter

A flat, non-expressive tone tells us you aren’t interested and you have no energy to really deliver on your words.
When you speak too carefully or perfectly, we might immediately make assumptions that you are pretentious or snobby as opposed to down-to-earth and welcoming.
When we hear a monotone sound which is using just 1-2 pitches when we speak, it can come across robotic, cold and uninterested.
Uninterested and dull leads to zero engagement. Zero engagement leads to zero sales. Capiche?!

Example #2

The polar opposite of #1 is when someone is overly enthusiastic and a little too animated and happy about something that isn’t really that exciting or life-changing. We get the wrong message there, too, don’t we? We might immediately think: “Wow. That’s fake!” or “What’s wrong with her? It’s just life insurance!”

What causes this? Who knows?! Maybe it’s nerves. Maybe you’re this excited about everything in life. Maybe you don’t know how to match the message of what you are saying to how you are saying it and the fact that you’re even on camera is a HUGE FEAT FOR YOU! Whatever the case may be, congratulations that you are showing up and trying!! But…we have to get down to why you are overexpressing yourself and why you feel like you might have to prove something to your audience instead of just being you.

Here’s how:

The next time you go to record yourself, do a recording like you normally would inside of a private Facebook group where noone but you or a couple of close friends could see. Then, do another recording of you catching yourself using the same words like “I’m so excited!” and “This is AMAZING!!!” and instead, use words that fit the content. Maybe write out some words you don’t normally use because you can’t think of them in the middle of a video presentation. Have those words nearby. And then see how you can match the voice with the message. Now, like I had you do before, go back and listen to a snippet of each of these recordings. Which ones stands out as over the top? Which one feels more aligned with your content? You can also have a trusted friend listen and give you feedback or submit a request for a Speaker Audit and have someone from The Vocalpreneur do one for you as well! In any case, get eyes and ears on your content so you know what to work on and your message makes sense.

The Heart of the Matter

Overly enthusiastic speech has to match the actual excitement of the message or it will seem disingenuine.
Exaggerated speech patterns make the listener feel like you aren’t in tune with reality — or at least, their reality — and they will dismiss you as crazy, out of touch or even worse, stupid!

Example #3

You speak at ONE DYNAMIC LEVEL (loudness or softness) and ONE DYNAMIC LEVEL ONLY!!! Everything you say is super loud or super soft. You’re either yelling at us or barely audible. Regardless of which category you fall into, your vocal volume becomes predictable and it overstimulates and annoys us after the first couple minutes. When we are annoyed, we tune out and log off. We may need your message, but your message is delivered in way that is off-putting and hard to deal with. You need to pull from a wide range of tools when you speak like varying dynamic levels, pitches, tempos and vocal color, but ultimately, you need to start with one of these areas and work them in gradually until you have an interesting, varied way of delivering your message.

Here’s how:

Do like you have in the last two examples and record a version of yourself the way you normally speak and then record a version of yourself using soft tones and loud tones, whispering, shouting, laughing and exaggerating in order to utilize all the different dynamics of your voice. It might feel weird. You may forget what you wanted to say. Don’t worry. Just speak. And experiment. Now, go back and listen to those two recordings. Which one did YOU prefer listening to? Have a friend or a spouse listen. Which one did they prefer?

The Heart of the Matter

The content alone, not your natural bent toward speaking loudly or speaking softly, should dictate the dynamics (and other facets) of your speaking voice. Your voice needs to have varied dynamics so you are not predictable and therefore…annoying.
When you speak too loudly, we feel shouted at…or that you are mad at us. When you speak too softly, we feel like you are uninterested, timid and uncertain. Either way, we will be turned off and not want to hear your message — even if we may need it or it may be a very valuable message for us to hear.

These are just 3 out of many examples of things I hear from online speakers on a daily basis. And frankly, it’s costing your potential customers time and energy and it’s ultimately costing you your IMPACT and your hard-earned MONEY when you continue in this manner. Because ultimately, we don’t want people to tune us out! We want people to listen to what we have to say and DO BUSINESS WITH US!

What about your voice do you feel like you need to change in order to give people the correct impression of you and your brand? What may be causing people to get the wrong impression?

If you feel like you need help with this, book a call! I’d love to help you figure this out!

Until then…

Happy Speaking!

xo, Amy

Speaker Audit

5 Pillars of Your Voice

by Amy | Jul 10, 2022 | Speaking

When you don’t have to sing or speak for a living, you don’t really need to think about how your voice sounds or how it’s perceived by the people who listen to it day in and day out, do you? Well, most people don’t. But, if you do use your voice professionally, it is crucial that you learn the 5 Pillars of Your Voice and how these pillars come together to make your voice work for you rather than against you.

PITCH

The first pillar of your voice is pitch. Do you usually speak high or do you speak low? Do you speak using just a couple notes on the scale or do you use a wide variety of notes to express yourself? Most of us would agree that we’ve all heard a boring speaker only pull from a couple different pitches and put us to sleep, and on the contrary, we’ve heard an incredibly dynamic speaker utilize all the different pitches or tones he/she has available to him/her. How do you do this?

DYNAMICS

When we refer to dynamics, we are talking about how loud (ff) or how soft (pp) a person speaks/sings, and most of us have our volume set on a certain number most of the time. Ever hear a loud speaker in a restaurant or movie theater who forgot to turn off his “outside” voice while he’s talking on the phone or with the person he is with? Ever hear a soft speaker try and tell you something in a crowded room and for the life of you, you just can’t hear her? As speakers, we want to know how to turn up our sound when we want to say something important and we want to turn down our sound to draw people in and make them listen. The thing we never want to do is stay on one volume level and wear out the person listening to us.

TEMPO

Are you a fast talker or a slow talker? Do you take a lot of pauses or do you jump right into the next thought without a break? When we are listening to you speak, it is important that you pay attention to how fast or slow you are speaking, because, like all the other pillars, only talking in one tempo can make us feel like we can predict what you are saying, and it can put us to sleep or make us antsy or nervous. Remember, when we speak, we have the power to make people feel a certain way. They pick up on our cues and unconsciously react to us. Big responsibility, right? You bet! So, we need to understand how this works. If you speak with the same tempo, you will lose even the most supportive people who are really interested in your content. But, if you speak with varied tempo and pace yourself wisely, you will keep people engaged and interested in what you have to say.

TONE

Is your voice nurturing in nature or does it have an icy, cut-to-the-chase vibe? Is it pingy and brassy or is it velvety and warm? Easy to listen to or annoying AF? While a lot of our vocal tone is genetics, we can alter our vocal tone and pull from the colors we have available to us — if, and only if, we know they are there. Once we understand where our voice lies naturally, we can utilize facial expression and the inside of our mouths to make our sound more appealing to the ear. We can unlearn nasal habits and embrace a higher soft palate to convey sounds that are “like buttah” to the ear!

RESONANCE

Much like tone, resonance has to do with the acoustic qualities of your voice, but this time, we are more concerned with how your voice carries within a room. Please do not confuse resonance with dynamics (loud or soft). I like to think of resonance in terms of how clear and forward a sound is versus how muffled and far back it is. Resonance has more to do with sound penetration and how well you are heard over a crowd rather than how your voice is drowned out by other sounds. When we think of resonance, we have to always think of vocal placement. Is your voice far back in your throat and hollow or is it forward and clear? Our resonating chambers, mouth, nose, head, chest, all play a vital part in how our sound resonates, and the good news is, regardless of where your voice currently is, it can be altered for optimal resonance.

Obviously, this is not an exhaustive list of all the areas of the voice we build upon when we work together, but this gives you a mental picture of the areas we will focus on the most. While it may seem daunting to read a list of things you’ve perhaps never even thought of in terms of your speaking voice, rest assured that you can and will learn these fundamentals as if they are second nature to you and master the art of speaking!